posted by
kyabetsu at 06:13pm on 03/02/2003
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in the fruitless valley, the watermelon is king.
I think it takes too long to learn magic spells, that's why no one casts spells anymore. Why would anyone want to be anything that is difficult? "I don't like magic; I want to be a garbage man" interprets as "I am stupid; use me like the mule I am."
I don't know if I could work for Trojan. I definitely could not work for Massengil. Even if I was VP of Sales... "KYABETSU: VP SALES, MASSENGIL -- 'We douche, do you?' "
What is Massengil's slogan? I would have loved to sit on that meeting. I can imagine some of the slogans that might come out of a Massengil slogan brainstorming session:
SIMPLY DOUCHE-TASTIC!
WHO SAID VINEGAR WAS ONLY FOR SALAD?
SQUIRTY, SQUIRTY, NO MORE DIRTY!
MAKE WAY, CLEAN VADGE COMING THROUGH!
MASSENGIL - WHEN IT'S OKAY TO FLUSH YOUR ORGAN.
MASSENGIL... NOW FOR MEN.
SIMPLY VADGE-TASTIC!
and finally,
MAMA'S GOT A SQUEEZE-BOX, AND ITS NAME IS MASSENGIL!
How could you face your peers at your tenth year high school reunion? What would your children think? What happens when those nosey fuckin' teachers ask their students about what their parents do for a living? I would lie to my kids and tell them I was a fireman. And then I would tell them to mind their own business.
I think it takes too long to learn magic spells, that's why no one casts spells anymore. Why would anyone want to be anything that is difficult? "I don't like magic; I want to be a garbage man" interprets as "I am stupid; use me like the mule I am."
I don't know if I could work for Trojan. I definitely could not work for Massengil. Even if I was VP of Sales... "KYABETSU: VP SALES, MASSENGIL -- 'We douche, do you?' "
What is Massengil's slogan? I would have loved to sit on that meeting. I can imagine some of the slogans that might come out of a Massengil slogan brainstorming session:
SIMPLY DOUCHE-TASTIC!
WHO SAID VINEGAR WAS ONLY FOR SALAD?
SQUIRTY, SQUIRTY, NO MORE DIRTY!
MAKE WAY, CLEAN VADGE COMING THROUGH!
MASSENGIL - WHEN IT'S OKAY TO FLUSH YOUR ORGAN.
MASSENGIL... NOW FOR MEN.
SIMPLY VADGE-TASTIC!
and finally,
MAMA'S GOT A SQUEEZE-BOX, AND ITS NAME IS MASSENGIL!
How could you face your peers at your tenth year high school reunion? What would your children think? What happens when those nosey fuckin' teachers ask their students about what their parents do for a living? I would lie to my kids and tell them I was a fireman. And then I would tell them to mind their own business.
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