BUZZ BUZZ Once There Was...

has got a head cold? you've got 3 chances and the first 2 don't count. I'm fever-y, not-breathe-ing-y, and all those nasty nyQuil symptoms too. Go, me. I'm a champion cold catcher. Ask Kevin. He'll cough once and be over something, but I'm out for 4 days.

I've been asking for an immune system for Christmas for YEARS now, but so far, it's a no-go.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROXANE!!!

I'm too snowed in to go shopping.

YES! snow. there's that too. not just disease, but ill-weather. If i lived in the middle ages? I'd be dead 500 times over by now. Thank God that natural selection no longer has a hold on lower-middle-class suburbanites. Otherwise, I would have been survival-of-the-fittest-ed right into the ground years ago. Probably by a healthy toddler.


So. i'm running a fever. which is always entertaining--specifically when i write while feverish. I'll go back after the damn thing's broken and re-read what all i had to say and i'll be just as confused as helen keller in a furniture store. ...i just CAME from the dining room... why is there another dining room... and ...another... SHIT. Where the HELL AM I?!?!

haha. as entertaining as that thought is, there are plenty of situations where Helen Keller would provide me with mirth. Helen Keller at drivers' ed, for one. I swear we had kids who Helen could have out-driven in my drivers' ed class. I think they all got licenses.

DUDE.

speaking of crazy people to have drivers' licencses-- I was at the gas station a few days ago, and i was waiting in freaking LINE for a pump (note to self, mind the time...around 5pm, people tend to stop for gas.) when this ANCIENT old guy gets out of the beat up pick up truck in front of me. The Codger (b/c this guy truly was the codgeriest thing on 2 feet and 2 canes) WOBBLES his way towards the pay-booth on his 2 canes and 2 legs. His knees must not work, b/c it was like a freak slow-motion FALLING towards the cashier's booth. His hands were shakey too b/c those canes were jittering like a rock-ola cafe in the 1950's. So he does this old 'old man' dance towards the pay booth, and i've got one hand on my door handle, b/c i'm certain that at any moment, one of those canes is gonna shimmy right out from under him and i'm ready to throw open the door and try to DIVE between him and the concrete. Never an issue. He does his crazy walk to the booth, pays, crazy-walks back. He fills up a spare tank in the back of his truck, crazy-walks/stumbles/fidgets/flippers his way into the cab of the thing and drives off. the LIVING MARIONETTE is out on the roads! He's a LEGAL DRIVER!!

i know that enforcing 'old-people off the road' laws would mean we'd have to (heaven forbid) have a better PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION system... but I drove to kevin's and home that night with more than a bit of trepidation. That guy, and hundreds just like him were on the road with me.