posted by ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kyabetsu at 04:42pm on 04/08/2006 under space cadet day
kyabetsu at 04:42pm on 04/08/2006 under space cadet daydunno what my deal is today. i am a total slug. i DID stuff in the morning cause i had to. And i'm doing stuff at work now cause i have to. But I swear i've stared at this computer for about 20 minutes now just trying to remember what it was i was gonna do. which was this. write this post. right here. letting everyone who reads my lj know that i. am. in. slow. motion. today.
i just can't shake it off. it's like... you know how you're slow to get all your brain cells firing when you've JUST woken up? i'm STUCK right there. I"m awake. I've BEEN awake since 8:30 this morning... but i'm STILL muzzy as all hell.
I kinda feel like i'm floating around in my own body, my eyes don't wanna bother to focus, and i've got the reaction time of a stoned sloth. If some one came by the store today and threw something at me, it would just bounce off my face cause i'm about a million miles from HERE.
I'm aware that there are folks who pay to experience this kind of distortion... and that frustrates me b/c i'd pay money to get rid of it. It eats hours of my life when i could be doing something else.
This doesn't happen very often and usually its not so THICK, but when it strikes i feel like i OUGHT to feel like i want to scream and kick something. I'm more likely to just SIT, but distantly, I know i shouldn't be okay with it. I spent years of my life like this...or some derivative of it. and i know that when i'm back to full-speed, I'll be able to tell you i HATE it. but right now, hate takes too much energy to generate. It just kinda stinks.
so... yeah. i'm just gonna sit here, and try to keep my head balancing on my neck. I hope it rains tonight. I would like to be inside away from it.
i just can't shake it off. it's like... you know how you're slow to get all your brain cells firing when you've JUST woken up? i'm STUCK right there. I"m awake. I've BEEN awake since 8:30 this morning... but i'm STILL muzzy as all hell.
I kinda feel like i'm floating around in my own body, my eyes don't wanna bother to focus, and i've got the reaction time of a stoned sloth. If some one came by the store today and threw something at me, it would just bounce off my face cause i'm about a million miles from HERE.
I'm aware that there are folks who pay to experience this kind of distortion... and that frustrates me b/c i'd pay money to get rid of it. It eats hours of my life when i could be doing something else.
This doesn't happen very often and usually its not so THICK, but when it strikes i feel like i OUGHT to feel like i want to scream and kick something. I'm more likely to just SIT, but distantly, I know i shouldn't be okay with it. I spent years of my life like this...or some derivative of it. and i know that when i'm back to full-speed, I'll be able to tell you i HATE it. but right now, hate takes too much energy to generate. It just kinda stinks.
so... yeah. i'm just gonna sit here, and try to keep my head balancing on my neck. I hope it rains tonight. I would like to be inside away from it.
numb