BUZZ BUZZ Once There Was...

I am an incredibly, ridiculously lucky human being. So lucky in fact that it gives me hysterical giggles if I think on it too long.

1. I got the job. OMG. Like, with a salary and benefits. It starts up next week, and I'm waffling between quiet panic and utter lethargy. The lucky part? It took me a week. From 'deciding I needed a job' until acceptance letter. WTF?! I DON'T KNOW, BUT I AM SO GRATEFUL.

2. My house is not on fire. The house across the street caught fire. I live in a TOWN HOUSE. The whole neighborhood is just back to back to back to back... and the place two doors down and one strip of asphalt away was ablaze. My home, my cats, important federal documents that say I'm allowed to work at the new job I just got? All of them are FINE. The lucky part? Because it's RAINING TONIGHT. There was only one unit burned, and thankfully for the neighbors, they weren't home--no injuries!

3. My fiance and his extended family rock. Don't get me wrong, I've got awesome folks in my own gene pool, but it's wonderful to be in love with someone who's not tied to a fresh batch of crazy. You know how many families out there are the 'family values' version of spastic, rabid weasels in a sack? My whole family's been incredibly supportive and generous, but I want a special spotlight on the basic sanity of my family-to-be.

4. We got space at AnimeBoston! 2 feet. BUT IT'S SOMETHING! I'd already told Boston friends we couldn't go--and into my inbox pops the offer! I'll be tied down with the new job, but that wonderful fiance of mine will be there with 2 foot worth of inventory. ;P

5. Our panels got approved at Tekkoshocon! That's badges in the bag and a chance to really talk to folks! :D ROCK! Again, I've gotta stay home thanks to new job, but I'm not the only one in the studio who can give panels on the topics we picked, so we're covered.

6. I have kickass friends who animate my goofy drawings for me: THANK YOU, REI!


Lucky me is going to bed. I MUST REMEMBER THIS FEELING WHEN I WAKE UP TOMORROW. I don't know what my malfunction is, but I'm always more focused and determined at night when I should crash and not in the morning when I need some fire to seize the day.

Tomorrow's To Do List:
1. BE ACTION-PACKED.

...black? as in 'the last day on the calendar before your Christmas Holiday Debt pulls you into the red?

Maybe. Goodness knows it's been bumping the 'black' on the Store's bank-books up and up! We started slow today, but i've had a number of folks come in and just drop several hundred $$ on comics and such. Must be nice, huh?

I've made almost NO progress on my lists of 'things what NEED DOING.' I'm hoping that when i go home tonight, i will be inspired to great heights of 'accomplishing shit.' Otherwise, you guys get to listen to the high-pitched whine of one of my freak-outs again.

Thanksgiving night, I called the west-coast family for the first time since i called my one aunt during those fires. They all made it through safe, and we glad to hear from me in a non-emergency context. I guess it's easier to keep people out of your thoughts when you've had no contact with them. Out of sight, out of mind is true for me, i suppose. (Though i'm really not proud of that). My 'little cousin' J is a grown man. My 'little cousin' E. is getting her bachelor's degree. My 'little Cousins' V & R are on their junior and sophomore years in college. And I disappeared out of their lives for pretty much a solid 10 years. R doesn't know me very well at all--she doesn't care either. V might still remember me fondly, but I doubt i gave her any sleepless nights.

E & J, though? We'd been close. Best friends i'd had in the family. And it's almost like i'd decided they were dead or something. Dad's the one i would WANT to cut out of my life--but i bet i think of him way more often than I ever did them. Which is both sad and wrong.

Talking to them, i feel like some one stepped out of all those old family photos i've been sorting and said, 'hey! over here! we're not GONE!' Which... is pretty damn awesome. And makes putting away those photos so much happier than just the bittersweet chore it had been.

If you're one of the local people i've pushed to help me with the photo-albums, i'm sorry. I pretty much didn't wanna do it alone. All those people are dead... and living out here on the east coast, i'm the only person who remembers them. It seemed vital that i not be the only one to know about them. Now, there's people in there who ALSO know the deceased. Who aren't dead either--AND don't feel like dead people to me. It's really a liberating feeling.

I'm so very thankful I can still make those phone calls and reach them.








gonna write out the special orders for the store, and match up the stuff that's come in for folks. then i'll move onto that scholarship stuff. I will get things done. Promise.


P.S.
I miss lindentreeisle and melannen terribly.

First off, HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL! (Belatedly, but maybe you're still eating leftovers?)

Secondly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BLUE!!! (Belatedly, but i had no int0rwebs during the travelling.)

Thirdly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO VCHAN!!! (Belatedly, but i've got a theme going.)



Okay. I went to vermont. I love vermont. I love Kevin. I love kevin in Vermont. It seems so... optimistic at this point. I still need some more facts and actual commitments from my boss, but oh the possibilities!




On a less euphoric note, my beautiful boy, BERLIOZ got out while i was up in Vermont and go his TAIL stuck in ... something sharp?? The bone is exposed and the vet is talking about amputation. he's currently heavily bandaged (much to his annoyance) and may be loosing about 4 inches of tail before this is all over. $$-wise, that could be 1500$ dollars worth of cat tail. The vet also says she heard a heart murmur.

My boy... my beautiful boy... *clings to her kitty.* He's supposed to live to be 22 at least! He's only 8! These things can't be happening! He's still under warrantee!



really... i've not told my family about things with Vermont, b/c it's all so vague still... or at least it was before the trip. It's way less vague now, but still not grandparent-proof. I'm so scared to tell them-- they've done so much for me here. I don't want to jerk them around. I don't want them to shoot it down. I don't want to have to choose a PRAY i'm making the right choice, b/c while they'd be there for me, i don't want to fail AGAIN and come home AGAIN and have them never trust me to do anything ever for the rest of my life and have them treat everything like a failed idea before it starts b/c they ALREADY do that and ... guh. *thumps head.* But not telling them is getting to me big time. I feel like such a liar.

i've gotta run and write a minimum of 7 pages of macro-economics paper.... or i'd give you guys the full spectrum of hope that is Vermont.